These Cake Mark brownies are the most delicious brownies I have ever eaten, I swear it. They are a product of Canada, yet their company address is for the UK and I found them in the US aisle of my supermarket which leaves me vaguely confused.

But, if they have these in your country you need to try them, they aren't as chocolatey as home made brownies can be, but they are certainly delicious.

For the bad days, and the good things.

Every single day I struggle to remind myself of why I love my life, why I am happy and of what lies ahead for me. It becomes especially hard in the stressful times, such as the last exams before I leave high school, and when friends basically suck, and even worse when you're sick during it all, nobody seems to notice or care, and you are reminded of your every flaw constantly, all while being home alone curled up on the lounge with a dodgy pink blanket playing the Sims because none of your friends seem to care enough to drop by or give you a call and see how you're feeling...

Oh dear, that was a tangent, but yes, that's an accurate description of my life since school ended last week.

And since I've been so down, and eating a lot to compensate for the lack of people around, I thought I'd make a self encouragement post, not only for myself, but for anyone who is feeling a little down. So here goes: in the form of a list, the top 5 ways I try to boost my mood.

1. Every day, especially on the days I have to force myself to study, I think about the end result. The harder I work for what I want, the less other people's opinions and judgments matter, and the better my results will be. This works whether it's for study, work or even personal achievements. Stop thinking about what other people think or want from you and focus on what matters to YOU! It'll make it a lot easier.
2. I don't stress about results, because I can work with whatever I get, and I can't change how well I did. So what I'm saying is, become adaptable to what you're achieving, what's going on around you and focused on improving for the next step.
3. No matter how crap everyone around me is being, especially friends, I constantly have to remind myself that they are replaceable, even the ones that seem to have been around for a long time. So instead of focusing my energy on keeping my friends happy, I focus on keeping me happy, and on keeping the family I have happy, because me and my family can't change, friends can.
4. Always take time to relax! I can't stress how important this one is. I try to take time every single day to focus on me. Cooking dinner, watching a favourite TV show or movie, or talking to someone about something that matters.
5. Keep your Sims happy... Or you know, if you don't play Sims, remember to look after yourself the way you do them. Keep up with your basic needs, but don't forget to treat yourself sometimes. Chocolate releases endorphins, so use that excuse when you want some.

I'm pretty sure I just got really off topic in that list, but they are the things I do regularly when I feel the mood coming on that leads to unexpected crying in the shower or late at night for no real reason, or when I feel like everyone around me just plain sucks and I need to cry on behalf of their sucky-ness. Or you generally just have crappy friends like me, and would rather be alone and content than angered by their stupidity, hypocrisy, arrogance and down right crappy personalities.


Right now, I'm going to finish watching Good News World, feel good about myself and sleep until around 10am if not later, just because I can on a Tuesday, or any day now, and then play the Sims until I can hear out of my right ear, not that anyone cares about how sick I am, not even the people I call my best friends. But that's fine, when I get cancer, I'll be sure not to tell them so they don't have to feel bad about not giving a shit about me.


I was going to sign off with an 'I'll be out and about until next time' and then I realised that more realistically, I should sign off with this:


I'll be in bed, playing Sims like a friendless loser, suffering from a really bad flu and hoping I can be bothered to wash my hair in the morning, until next time, have a better day... week... life than me.

Crayola and Skittles Costumes.

Just thought I'd throw these two pictures up so a better idea is had of the costume ideas I was having.

Homer Hudson.

In my time, I've eaten quite a few ice cream brands. And today, I think I just discovered the greatest tasting one yet: Homer Hudson's 'Hoboken Crunch.' It's an amazingly smooth and creamy vanilla ice cream with yummy chunks of two of my favourite things: chocolate and caramel. It's seriously delicious, and I'm not even an ice cream person. I think everyone should try it.

My other big thing right now is... Well anything with spinach in it: spinach pasta, spinach lasagna, and since spinach is so often with ricotta, a lot of spinach and ricotta stuff too. One of my favourites is a chicken and spinach cannelloni my mum cooks; it's got everything I love in it, and tomato, but it's still delicious. 

Yeah, I love food. Mostly meal foods, dinner foods and the like. I don't really find lunch a greatly appreciable meal, but I love soups, so that tends to be something I eat a lot for lunch. Breakfast is toast, or eggs. I don't love or hate pancakes, or waffles or whatever else, I'm just not good with eating in the mornings.

But dinners, they are where the variety really starts to come out in food and cooking abilities. You can do anything for dinner, something as simple as the standard meat and vegetables, all the way to an inventive and creative dish mixing multiple cuisines. It's also the meal you see how different cultures eat far better, although a lot of dinner meals can be transferred to lunch, nobody really has that much time.

Switching topics, because I could rant about food all day, and still nobody would care. January 1st is my 19th birthday, and in Australia, that means it's my second birthday that I can legally drink for. For the past month or so, people have been asking me what I'm going to do for it, and telling me that it has to top my 18th, which was amazing. Tonight, I might have just had a break through idea. I've been contemplating a backyard costume party for some time, but I haven't had any sort of theme ideas, until tonight.

So, for the first time, I would like to have a 'Crayola Party.' After discovering this amazing crayola costume on costumeexpress.com the idea just popped into my head. Get a bunch of people, and make them wear a colour of crayola costume that starts with the first letter of their name, for example, my name is Sam, so I would pick a crayola colour that starts with 'S.' I could go for something obvious like scarlet, or something very Crayola like Sunset Orange.

The other idea I had was also thanks to costumeexpress.com and is a 'Favourite foods Party.' I found both a costume for Skittles and one for Starburst. So since there are a bunch of them, I was thinking everyone could just find their favourite food and wear a costume of it. There are also a bunch of different coloured M&M's, so I could make it food specific.

The amount of costumes available makes it easy for me to just say 'oh I'm just having a costume party, dress however you want' but I think it'd be more fun if there was a theme, even if it's just an 'S' party or something.

MUCK UP DAY!

After 13 years of education, yesterday I completed my last high school classes, ending on a double maths, and last night attended my last school dance, and today was our muck up day. Most of my year stayed at school overnight, but I had a friend staying at my house who wasn't in year 12 so I decided to go home.

When I got to school, one of the blocks, our practical subject block, food tech, wood tech, music, one of the science labs and the art rooms, I blocks furniture was on the oval next to it. Which, even though the furniture was right below the windows, then had to be carried up a flight of stairs to be returned to the rooms. The chairs were in 3 stacks and then tied together with safety tape and the tables were stacked as well. One of the classrooms from our H block had been moved outside it's window and placed exactly the same, and the teacher actually taught her class at the outside setup for first period.

The deputy principals office was sticky noted on the outside, floor to ceiling, as was the gardeners shed door. There was vaseline on door handles, heaters and various poles. All of year 12's cars were parked in the quadrangle, which is also a basketball/netball court, and wrapped in gladwrap, and one was driven up a few stairs onto this platform kind of thing. There was a year 9 kid gladwrapped to a flag pole, one of the rooms in H block had been TP'd, the next one had christmas wrapping hanging in front of the door and a bunch of clothes hung from the roof, the next one had all the furniture turned upside down, and the last one on the line had everything stacked up.

One of the I block classrooms had all the posters taken down or written on with whiteboard marker. There was flour on the fans, and all over the outside ground. There was gladwrap between all the poles to get up the stairs to H and I block without walking the entire way around the library. In between H and I block there was a line of chairs stacked on top of each other.

On top of this, our entire year dressed in crazy costumes; I was a carebear, there was a wizard, a fairy, an old man, an angel, batman, the red power ranger, the queen of hearts, a tiger, 5 of the guys were in morphsuits (which are deeply disturbing and super tight full body suits, including the head), and a few things I can't actually name.

We ran a bbq lunch and a chocolate wheel raffle, and raised a lot of money in an attempt to make our formal entirely free. We did a freeze-mob in the local shopping centre in our costumes. Other than that, we basically chilled out and cleaned up a large amount of the mess we made.

Tomorrow morning, we have our final formal assembly to say that we made it and actually did complete year 12, which I really don't wish to attend, but I will. Then over the next two months we have our final exams and then our formal. 

I'm so glad it's over.

Kaksi yötä ja paljon alkoholia

This weekend was one of the best I've had in a while, up until this morning. After two nights of consecutive drinking, and one day of a minor hangover, today couldn't be a day of comfort, it had to be a day of pain, tiredness and regret.

We decided to borrow SingStar from a friend of ours because none of us own it, and intended to play it while under the influence. However, this never actually went to plan as we played it while sober, then never got round to playing it while we were drinking. 

The first night, Friday, there were three of us drinking together, Jess, Abbey and I, and while we tried our hardest to think of other people we could actually be bothered to spend time with much less drink with, it didn't work out so well. So along with a Batman mask, about 15 jelly shots and a large amount of vodka and orange juice, we danced and sung along to an awesome playlist of songs like Birthday Sex, Inescapable and Introvert Extrovert. The night was easy, started early and ended likewise. We were drunk and in bed by 10pm. Given, none of us got much sleep because that's what alcohol does.
 
The next morning, I woke up to Abbey cleaning the house at 9am and a slight hangover which was mostly just tiredness. The day was one of comfort food including bacon on toast and a lot of water. We again played SingStar while sober and at some point during the day Jess had to go home, so it was just Abbey and I.

The Saturday night was just Abbey, myself and some more vodka and juice. However, after 4 drinks we were as drunk as we have ever been, however we drank those 4 drinks in about 3 hours, and they were strong. So after taking about 100 photos we decided it was time to talk to a lot of different people pointlessly. We still never got around to SingStar, but jamming to songs on iPod dock is just as fun, if not even more so. And at 11.30, once we no longer knew anything about the world around us, we decided that sleep would be an awesome idea, and once again, sleep failed us.

Thus leading us to the greatest hangover of all time today. Fresh air didn't help, water didn't help, food didn't help, tea didn't help, Nurofen didn't help. Nothing helped, and nothing made it worse either, so I am typing this with a nasty headache and a churning stomach that doesn't appear to be going away today.

The photo's in order of appearance are, one of Jess, Abbey and I with a Jelly shot on Friday night; Abbey and I on Saturday night; Abbey and I mucking around with photobooth effects on Saturday night; and finally, Abbey and I with my curly straw. As you can see, at some point during the Saturday night I thought both red lipstick and putting my hair up would be a good idea.


And this is the first weekend of many to come on the down hill run to the end of school forever.

lopussa

As it turns out, I have exactly a week until my last ever day of school. This time next Thursday I will have received my year 12 certificate and be done for good, except for exams. It's both daunting and exciting. Especially since I was under the impression all year that I wasn't sitting my HSC exams for an ATAR. Apparently this has changed and now I am getting an ATAR and the pressure is on. Aside from that, the entire class is under pressure to bring the entire range of marks up so that our school and our group looks good, which should be easy enough.

Tomorrow is basically a day off because the entire year is being allowed to have a day on the snow just because we haven't been allowed to take part for the last 2 years, and I refuse to go, so that means I get a lovely day at home. Then I have the weekend, Friday night shall be drunken and full of SingStar and entertainment with Jess and Abbey. Photos are sure to follow. Then my last ever week of school begins with the last two days of class which I think I only miss one class for. Then Wednesday is our muck up day, which the school is calling 'Activities Day' just to make us attempt to behave. Hopefully I'll be able to acquire the care bear costume I want from a friend, otherwise I have no idea what I'll go as. I'll probably just wear a wig of some sort. Hopefully plenty of photos will come from this too. Then Thursday morning we have our year 12 certificate receiving assembly which will probably go for an hour, and then we are done. 

No more waking up at 7am to make sure I manage to get to school on time. No more classes. No more assignments. No more teachers threatening us with N awards. No more wasting my entire day staring at walls pretending I'm actually learning something.

For the next almost 2 months it's nothing but studying. Revision. Possibly learning a lot of the stuff I never payed attention for. This especially accounts for my two sciences.

I also have to somehow make up my mind about what to do next year. Whether I'll go to uni or get a job or just sleep on the couch and play Sims and baby sit my nephew every afternoon. This is the hardest part of it all, well aside from saying goodbye to some people I genuinely like and will miss, and will more than likely never see or speak too again. I can still face-stalk them. I'll probably leave school crying, or cry when I get home or something.

For now though, I will continue to watch X-Factor, move my playstation and get some SingStar practice in so that I can pretend I can sing tomorrow night.

sairauspäivät

Having spent the last 4 days in bed with a nasty dose of some infectious germs taking over my body, I had plenty of time to think about my undecided future.

Over the last few years I have had some great ideas about what to do with my future, mostly coinciding with whatever phase I was in the midst of at the time.

When I went through my painting every week phase I wanted to be either an artist or a tattooist. After I got a set of lip piercings I wanted to be a tattooist/piercer. When I was doing really well in science in year 10, I wanted to study biology. This was then followed by lawyer, writer, illustrator, audio technician, architect, engineer, public servant, translator, embassy official travel agent physicist and most recently, permanent student.

I clearly follow no patterns when deciding my future, but two things are clear. I like money, and I like the creative industries. So instead of actually picking a career, I've gone with possibly the most logical thing so far: do whatever I get accepted to do after making various job and education applications. So far the only things I've applied for are a course in tourism and a job with the public service.

There are few things I am sure about when it comes to my future, I know only that I want to travel, speak many languages and live mostly in either Helsinki or Baltimore, or both equally. I know nothing about what I want in relationships, children or career. I don't know what kind of car I want, or even what colour hair I would like to have a week from now.

And so within the next 2 months the journey begins. What will I end up doing? Where will I end up? Will life go well, and the few plans I have go the way I intend?

One thing is for sure, you can't hide from life. The only thing you can do is take it head first, because as they say, nobody makes it out alive.

Perhe ja tuttu.

This week has been a good week for family interactions. On Tuesday it was my eldest sister's 30th birthday, yesterday was my Nan on my dad's sides birthday, and tomorrow is my younger sister's birthday. This means that this weekend I get to see my elder two sisters, their respective partners and my two nephews.

It also made a great excuse to bake an insanely awesome cake for my younger sisters birthday, because she's chucking a sad about nobody getting her presents, when in reality, she doesn't want anything, so this was the best I could come up with. Of course, I pissed mum off by wanting to make something a little different, something that I haven't before, nor has she, infact she hasn't even heard of it. 

The choice was a red velvet cake. The cake itself has turned out good as I baked it today. However, I still have to take the top off one of the cakes as it is a layered cake, then I have to make the icing, which is one of my biggest struggles, and decorate it. This is where it might just fall to pieces since I decided to stick with white icing, add random zoo animal sugar decorations around the side, and then spell out 'Happy Birthday Jacqui' on the top in those shiny sugar balls.

Now, while I am quite a competent artist, cake art was never my strong point. To start with, sticking things onto icing is impossible, and I hate getting food on my hands, so I'm not going to love this. Then, while my English is perfect, attempting to spell something correctly on a cake before the sister wakes up might actually kill me. 

The only real good thing to come from tomorrow might be that she is grateful for the effort that went into that damn cake, especially since I am not functional in the morning at all, much less attempting to decorate anything. Also, while everyone has told her they haven't got her anything, I know that my elder sister and Mum have both gotten her things that she will be stoked with and not expect. So hopefully the day turns out alright.

Just a thought...

I feel like I should just start writing this blog entirely in Finnish. It'd force me to learn the language faster and it'd be harder for people to know what I'm saying and about whom.

Actually come to think of it, I'd learn the language faster if I had someone to speak it with, and I don't actually care whether people know what I think of them. I'm just sick of keeping it all inside, and I don't really want to start drama so I avoid them.

Ihmisluonto tuloksia tyhmyys.

Yeah, I have a lot of opinions on things. That's who I am, and I often like to voice them, but since I have no other safe place to let my emotions run rampant, you guys get to suffer.

This past week some of the most ridiculous selfish and stupid actions have been performed by some of the people closest to me, and those happen to be the two traits I cannot stand in people.

Let's start with my lovely father and younger sister. For as long as I can remember, or at least since my parents separated when I was 13, my father has favoured my sister over me. He has given her everything she asked for, and given me nothing. The latest thing to drive me insane, as an apple fanatic who actually cares about their products it annoyed me, would be that my father, who is in debt, is giving my lovely sister an iPhone 4 on a contract, while I, as usual, have to deal with my shitty block phone that barely works and pay for my own credit.

I do not joke when I say she has everything handed to her while I have to pay my way through life and deal with everything on my own. For example, I have had to pay for my last 5 I think phones, which is almost all of them, all but two I think. This iPhone will be her 4th phone in the last year which our parents have payed for. She hasn't paid for any of them in any amount for herself. Another example would be her new laptop. While I used my mothers credit card because I was 17 and obviously couldn't get my own, I still payed mine off by myself, my mother did not put a single dollar on it for me, while my sister did the same act and my mother is now paying it off for her.


When I turned 16 my father cut me off financially, including the legal maintenance payments, when my sister turns 16 she gets 70 dollars a week from him and a phone on a contract.


On top of that, she is insanely irresponsible, disrespectful and has no idea about the value of money so she doesn't take care of her things, or anyone elses.


The next thing to annoy me is the stupidity of some people. I have a friend who was, in the first place, stupid enough to sleep with a guy, twice, and not use any protection, and the guy is a known man whore. Then she realised she could get pregnant (no shit! really? I never would have imagined that's how it happened!) So she went and got a pregnancy test. On the back of the box it says 'accurate up to 99% 7-10 days after conception.' Conception meaning after the sperm has implanted in an egg which can happen up to 5 days after sex, meaning she should have waited at least 10 days, then done a recheck a fortnight later or something to make sure her hormones just weren't effected then. 


Instead she was stupid enough to take one 5 days after sex, when the test is nowhere near being accurate.


Then she got shitty with me when I told her that it was pointless because it wouldn't have accurate results anyway. Whatever, it's the truth.


On top of that, I'm sick of most of my friends being generally shit people, saying shit that hurts other people and being insanely immature. Every few months I go through a low stage, where people easily annoy me, and the usual behaviour begins to drive me insane, or I become aware of how stupid and irresponsible their actions are. I usually spend a lot more time alone, at home, or around the very few people who actually are as mature as I am.


This is my current state, anyone who reads this from the link in my twitter, you will know whether I have been avoiding you, and that's the exact reason why I'm only really spending time alone or with Abbey. Deal with it, you're all shit people and I don't give a fuck, I could live quite easily without your fake bullshit constantly.

itsemurha

Suicide. 

One of the few things that can stop words in my throat, and well up my eyes. The only thing that can actually choke me up, even if it's effecting someone I don't even know.

So many things have led to this. Many friends of mine have attempted suicide, or are/have been avid self harmers. I have a constant fear about 4 close people to me who are all currently in counseling or on drugs, except one, that one of them will just lose it and be gone. My mother attempted suicide multiple times through-out her life. This year alone I have to make two suicide watch calls for friends who had confided that they were going to attempt suicide.

I myself have and do still battle with severe depression, have in the past had self harming tendencies and made suicide attempts.

I feel it's a huge problem that's not being addressed properly in society; depression and suicide. They effect almost every person, and those who don't believe it effects them are naive or ignorant.

People are so focused on not letting people kill themselves that they overlook the reasons most of the time: bullying is the main one, and since people are just plain shit most of the time, nobody knows how to tackle it. It's simple - TEACH PEOPLE TO BE NICE! And create appropriate punishments for bullying. 

It just makes me angry. People need to be less shit.

iPhone 5.

As an avid fan of basically anything that Apple creates (excluding the iPad, which I do love but don't see the point of) I'm obviously listening to the rumours floating around about what the new iPhone will look like. 

So far, I've seen 3 different idea's or concepts of what the iPhone 5 could look like. The first one, is based on an icon seen in something Apple did which I don't know much about. It basically remodels the entire iPhone to have a larger screen, while taking up less space in your pocket, or being shorter and less wide. This iPhone is supposedly taking on it's competitors with a 3.7 inch screen, in comparison to the current 3.5 inch screen. I think it's ugly as anything, and would not waste the 700 or so dollars that it will be released for in Australia on it.



The second design I found was basically just a thinned down version of the iPhone 4. Exact same design and capabilities, no improvements and nothing really changed other than the thickness. It's a photoshopped idea of what some people are expecting. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but if this design is close to what Apple will release then expect the iPhone 5 to infact be an iPhone 4S or similar.

The third and final design, and what I personally hope is the closest to the actual iPhone 5, is allegedly a copy of the iPhone 5 straight from a factory. It looks somewhat like an iPhone 3, however it has the metal strip from the iPhone 4. As a lover of both the iPhone 3 and iPhone 4 designs, this mash up works well for me. It's allegedly thinner than the iPhone 4 and has a larger screen. This is the only way I would bother buying an iPhone 5 over the iPhone 4.



This is just my opinion, and the information on each concept was sourced from idownloadblog.com, gizmodo and giz-china.com. I claim no intelligence to the design the Apple company may produce.

Vaiheet, musiikki ja koulu.

I, like every other person on this planet, have mood swings and mind changes. Unfortunately for everyone else, one of the hugest ones I go through ever few months or so is to not feel sociable at all. Which usually means I become overly shitty, bitchy and down right depressed for about a month or so whenever I have to spend too much time around anyone, much less people who annoy me on a good day. I also become over sensitive to anything anyone does, which means if they are the slightest bit annoying, inconsiderate or mean, I need to leave before I say something I could come to regret. This is me right now.

Unfortunately, one of the people in our group of friends annoys the hell out of me when I am on these 'lows.' And having entered this low on Thursday and having spent the last 2 days with her, I'm not sure it's a good thing. I'm doing well so far, having not actually snapped at anyone. This is because, for once, I have better things to do than deal with drama between people, so isolation is working well for me today.

I also have my last ever school assignment due at 9am in the morning, which I started a few hours ago. I finished part one, but I need to have the information for the second part emailed to me because Mel has it and I don't. Which frustrates me, since we did the prac about 7 weeks ago and she has had about that long to email the information to me.

Change of topic. My mum is going to Canberra for 4 days, 3 nights in 2 weeks, so for the Thursday, Friday, Saturday night of the last week of school for me ever. This means end of holiday drinks and lovely jelly shots will occur, if I can be bothered to be social. It also means the end of the winter ski season. However, she doesn't want me, at the age of 18, to stay at home alone for those nights, which I plan on doing anyway.

The end of winter has already killed me, or close enough. I have a sun burn from my day out yesterday, and I am already wearing jumpers on days where jumpers are probably not appropriate in order to deny the temperature, and to gain better control of the heat when it's actually 40 degrees.

Yesterday, two of my closest friends, Abbey and Mel, went for a picnic with our dogs, because Abbey just got a new puppy and she wants it to be socialised. This went well, mostly.

Now, I'm currently listening to a playlist I made this morning for the sole purpose of listening to while I did my assignment, which took far less time than I had anticipated. And I will now be moving on to either watching tv, playing video games or actually giving a damn about what people are doing. I could even read a book, but that is less likely.

High End Make-up.

Since during winter, my face colour always gets paler (if it even gets tan in summer) and this winter, for some unknown reason, my foundation actually stopped matching my skin. So I've decided to go on a search for an awesome new foundation. I've been using Natio for a year, and it's not giving me the coverage I want and I can't find a colour that matches right.

I've been looking at high end products I'd have to get imported, like MAC or NARS. I recently used a CoverGirl mousse, which I really liked, but nobody here stocks it (disadvantages of a small town,) so the only other option is to order it online. And since to get it posted and pay for it would be around $40, I figure I might as well go for a high end foundation that covers better and would cost me not much more.

I think I like the look of the MAC Studio Fluid Fix SPF15, half because I like foundations with an SPF, and half because it apparently has amazing coverage. I also want to try the NARS Sheer Matte foundation.

They both have a matte effect, they both set easily, they're both oil free and they are both long lasting. However, there is a huge price difference and they both have to come from overseas which means I need to pay for postage as well.

I'm not a make up artist or anything, but I know what I want and like for myself, colour, texture and coverage wise. And I really want an insane collection of make up for everyday and for special occasions. 

If anyone has any advice on their favourite products, let me know, I'm dieing for new make up!

Huonoja päiviä vain pahenee.

They say that if even on your worst days you can still smile, then you are doing well. Judging by the way today has gone, and the fact I still managed somehow to be polite and not bite anybody's heads off, I will presume I've done well.

The day was already destroyed by the season being Spring, so it was never going to be the greatest day, on top of that, I actually had to go to school. At school, it was the usual, which usually I can cope with, but today I was having an off day from a slight lack of sleep and lack of motivation, and finding out that my Friday timetable has changed so that I lose 4 business lessons a fortnight which leaves me with 9 instead of 13 I think. Big blow, especially since it's replaced with English, which is one of two courses I have actually finished while business is one of the 3 I haven't. This basically ruined the day for me, especially since it is a Friday and I had to go to English and I hate English.

Then on top of this, it was 'wear purple to support prevention of suicide related to gay bullying' day, and my best friend decided to have a nice rant about 'why not just have a prevention of suicide caused by bullying day' which I don't agree with because I think you can't tackle problems without tackling the individual causes. So that just, as usual with her voicing her opinions and shutting mine down, made me spend the entire of maths actually doing maths (not that I should complain since I was supposed to be doing maths anyway.)

Then we had English, of course spending any time doing English is going to ruin my mood, but failing the modules section of my exam made it a little worse.


Of course, then I got to spend my lovely lunch in an awesome mood with my friend who will continue to make me want to slap them when I am in a bad mood, and then do stupid inconsiderate shit constantly without thinking, just to make me feel great about myself. So I went home, because it was the end of my day and I just couldn't be bothered to deal with anyone else's crap.


Now that I'm home, I've had a nice fight with my mum about the ingredients of a white sauce recipe. Which was caused by her not listening to my instructions and her own ignorance and belief in her non-existent cooking abilities, even though she's a trained cook.

So my day just keeps getting better. On top of this, she tells me she is going away for 4 nights and that I, at the age of 18, need to get someone to stay with me because I can't stay home alone apparently. Which really annoyed me since I fully intend on moving out within the next 5 months.


So that concludes my day, and I suppose I should finish with something insightful or brilliant, so here goes: if you can't manage to get through the tough days in life, you don't deserve to have the easy days. But don't take life too seriously, nobody gets out in the end anyway.