Hullu Kertaa.

After having the craziest month and a half, I am back, and probably a little more sensible than before. So, as anyone who lives in New South Wales, Australia would know, the HSC started on the 18th of October, so basically my entire month of October was dedicated to exams. That same week the rest of my household, being my mother and sister, went on a lovely holiday to visit our family in Hervey Bay Queensland. They were gone for almost a fortnight, I had my first 4 HSC exams while they were away.

When they returned, my mother was contemplating moving up there to help her sister, who has an ill husband and four children. On the 10th of November I sat my final HSC exam, and I was fully intending on heading to Melbourne for an interview at SAE to do a bachelor of audio production with them. That interview is set to start in 2 hours, and I am clearly 8 hours away from that destination. That can simply be explained.

In exactly a month I will be living in Queensland, somewhere along Wide Bay soaking up the sun and attempting to combat the heat. I will be applying to do a Bachelor of Business specialising in events management via distance education, and I will probably be looking for a job as well. I will have left the one place I have ever lived, all the people I have ever known, and basically anything familiar for a place that I've never visited in a climate that I have never had to handle.

My house is a shamozzle, a complete mess and nothing can be found anywhere. For example, I need to pay my phone and internet bill, and I remember putting it on my table, but for the life of me, I cannot find it on the table anywhere because of the piles of things that need to be sold, packed or thrown out. My bedroom is almost entirely packed into one box and one suitcase, and a pile of things I am not keeping, such as my 30 jumpers that were necessary here in winter that I will probably not need in the Queensland climate. My backyard is in some sort of crazy state that I can't even explain as we have sold the sheds and everything from inside of them (including shelves and benches) has been moved outside onto the lawn or cement. The only room that still makes sense is the bathroom, and that is because we cannot pack that room until the morning we are leaving.

As a person who rarely remembers dreams, I'm in a strange situation since this moving has begun. I've been having insanely vivid dreams, that make little sense, about people I used to be friends with but have lost touch with. They are always people I have either had feelings for, or have been very close with in the past. It's kind of strange. I think my brain might be trying to process all the memories from this town and my life so far into dreams, but it's just coming off wrong. I know I'll miss this place and everything it's done for me, and all the people here who have helped me grow as a person, but I can't stay here as there just isn't anything here for me.

I am scared of forgetting things about this place, about the people here, about my own memories here. As anyone would be had they not actually ever lived anywhere else. It's kind of strange for me to make plans this quick and just start doing things to make it happen, rather than planning out the details and creating concise and effective lists of how to do things and when we should have what done. Usually I am so organised about plans like this, but this time, not so much. Then again, having had so many people let me down or disappoint me lately, I'm kind of getting used to having to deal with things as they come, which has often happened, but usually other people deal with it for me, now it's up to me.

So, I apologise for my absence, and I will be making an effort to update you on my life as I move along this new path. This journey shall be an interesting one, and hopefully everything goes according to, well, whatever this is since it's not a plan.